Is it Chemistry? Or Compatibility?

This new person you met. You’re feeling a definite, powerful attraction, yet you know little about them. You seem to share the same likes and dislikes, and even your disagreements are exciting. So, is it chemistry? Or compatibility? If it is both, great, but which matters more? If you feel neither chemistry nor compatibility with someone, then they just don’t register on the romantic radar – they might as well be lawn furniture or a vacant lot you walk past everyday. For a romance to begin, there must some form of attraction. That attraction can be chemistry or compatibility. If you are lucky, it will be both. What is important to understand is that chemistry and compatibility are two very different things. And, you are going to need both for a relationship to survive.

Compatibility is basically how two people can harmonize with one another. When you are compatible with someone, you can get along, enjoy the same things together. Compatibility can be shallow, or it can run deep. Maybe you and a romantic partner can enjoy sports, hamburgers and hiking. Wonderful compatibility. But, if you’re an atheist and the other person is a devout Catholic, at a deeper level, you might not be compatible with each other over the long term. Compatibility starts slow and reveals itself over time as each person reveals more about themselves.

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What would cause you to challenge compatibility issues? Perhaps make a couple try and change, learn and adapt? Intense chemistry.

Chemistry is mysterious. Where relationship experts can drone on and on about compatibility, even create tests to find out how compatible two people are, chemistry is elusive. It is emotional. It is physical. Chemistry is something we feel at a gut level and it is a connection or bond that seem to defy time and traditional rules? That’s chemistry. Two people who have a lot of chemistry between them evoke instant, strong, emotional feelings. It’s as if two chemicals are interacting and a potent, explosive reaction occurs that seem to create something new, yet very familiar. You find yourself staring at your phone hoping for a text or a call. You might find yourself thinking about the other person and can’t quite explain why. Sometimes we call this phenomenon ‘love at first sight’. It can be blessing, a curse, or both – it all depends on how you handle it.

Psychics often have a different take on ‘chemistry’. Where tradition thinking is that chemistry might be about genetics or pheromones or unconscious memories or desires, a psychic is likely to see more spiritual or mystical explanations. And, whether you believe in such things as astrology or past lives or soul connections or not, these more metaphysical answers can often provide a means of dealing with chemistry. Unfortunately, most people who contact a psychic for a love readings generally want quick, superficial answers: Can the relationship survive long term? Is he/she the right person for me? Is he/she going to come back and/or are they faithful. Psychics are happy to answer these questions. Often, though, readers wish clients would be willing to go into more depth. A little more depth can typically assist a person with keeping a good relationship moving in the right direction – or – assist a person with creating a more harmonious ending to an ill fated relationship.

Let’s look at some examples. Have you heard the expression, "star crossed lovers"? It means that a couple can have intense chemistry, yet, their fates, their individual destinies, are not compatible. The expression comes from astrology. For those who have experienced a star-crossed relationship know that being star-crossed is very real phenomena. It doesn’t matter if your Zodiac signs are compatible or not. The chemistry, the love, is not fated to be stable.

In the big picture, if you and your lover’s fate go different directions, it is a big compatibility issue. All the chemistry in the world cannot save the relationship. However, understanding that a star-crossed romance is no one’s fault can be emotionally freeing. There is nothing wrong with them. The is nothing wrong with you. It just wasn’t meant to be. And, it does not mean you won’t meet someone else where the chemistry is powerful, AND, the two of you will have long term compatibility.

You may or may not believe in reincarnation or the possibility of having a soul connection with others. Many psychics are believers in reincarnation and soul-connections. In metaphysical terms, groups of people often want to go through incarnations together. These individuals arrange to reincarnate close together in time and location. Perhaps they come together as a family unit. Perhaps they all gravitate to a certain location, a time, where they will have a chance to meet. The relationship between soul-connected may change, but the love, admiration, desire to be together transcends obstacles. They’ll find a way to be together. When they meet in this lifetime, they seem to know each other, be drawn together, and it can very much feel like chemistry. This experience can be what a person today might call finding a ‘soulmate’. It is indeed a wonderful thing to find a ‘soulmate’. It seems to make the world a better, a brighter place to live – which is why such groups of people gravitate towards one another. However, there can be circumstances where ‘soulmates’ being together may not be something that is suppose to work out.

The root of the word ‘personality’ is ‘person’. The word ‘person’ comes from the ancient Latin ‘persona’ meaning ‘mask’. One could say that our personality, our personhood, is a mask for the soul. Each lifetime can come with distinct personalities, and different missions or purposes, for coming to the material world. You can have an intense chemistry with someone, but it may not be meant to be romantic. Your personality and theirs are just not going to be compatible for long term happiness as a couple. But, it may be you can be very good friends. Or, it could be that this time around on earth, this other person has other issues they are working on, a purpose or mission that doesn’t involve a romantic relationship with you. Understanding this can, as with the example with being star-crossed, offer you unique ways of looking at and dealing with a relationship with intense chemistry but does not have cosmic compatibility.

Many people inclined towards the mystical often appreciate Tarot as a means of ‘sneaking a peek’ at the future. With Tarot, you can ask any question and it’s as if the Universe provides an answer. Of course, much comes down to the skills and talents of the tarot reader. But assuming the tarot readers is gifted, one can go beyond the simple ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers. Tarot can reveal things about ourselves that we never knew, allowing us to improve ourselves and our relationship. In the same way, Tarot can reveal things about our lover and relationship that can open new avenues to making a the relationship stronger. Conversely, tarot can reveal that a relationship is not destined to survive.

Maybe you have heard the expression, "it wasn’t in the cards". This is an old expression which actually comes from Tarot. There are certain things that, "are not in the cards". Where tarot can be extremely useful (for those who believe in such things) is giving us a chance to prepare, and look for, particular future events. It can also provide important direction and reveal information that allows us to make the best use of the future. Knowing a relationship is something that ‘is in the cards’ can give us confidence and offer insights into how to help that possible future along. If a relationship is not meant to survive, tarot can often help provide an understanding of this, and offer options on how to move on at peace with the circumstances. Tarot can sometimes also offer insights into future, or current, pitfalls, allowing us a chance to continue a loving relationship. What Tarot cannot do is help us overcome insurmountable compatibility issues.

Chemistry is tricky business. Compatibility is often easy to measure and understand. Chemistry is something you can only define within yourself. The quality of chemistry is more mysterious and mystical. There is no test kit for it. For a long term, love relationship, it is usually necessary to have both. To have both it is necessary to be honest with yourself. Allowing chemistry to blind you to incompatibility is a path to tragedy. If that is something you can accept, so be it. Conversely, a romantic relationship based solely on compatibility can be very comfortable (it can sometimes yield a quiet type of love). But, most people would agree that a purely comfortable relationship without chemistry is a relationship without passion or spark. Don’t underestimate the value of either chemistry or compatibility, particularly compatibility in a much larger, spiritual context.

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One last thing about compatibility. There is this mystical principal of yin and yang. The universe spins, attracts and repels based on opposites. If you find chemistry with someone, but there are some compatibility issues, do not be too quick to reject the relationship. Being 100% compatible may not be as good as it sounds. Having some differences is critical to keeping that spark alive. It certainly makes for more interesting conversations. Being able to compensate for your partner’s weaknesses, and having their strengths compensate for what you lack, can make for a truly heartfelt, strong, relationship. Have you heard the term, "opposites attract"? There is cosmic truth to this. You need some (seemingly) incompatibility for there to be a strong bond for long term compatibility. The diamond without flaws is not a perfect diamond. Again, it is a yin/yang thing … difficult to explain, but worth keeping in mind.

Chemistry and Compatibility are very different things. Whether you are open minded or not about such things as astrology, psychics or tarot, it is still valuable to be aware of the difference between chemistry and compatibility. It is equally important to understand that both are very powerful – but neither by itself can sustain a relationship long term. Dating is about experimenting, learning about what we want and don’t want. Should the time come you want to enter into a long term love relationship (or maybe love just finds you), it is a good idea to seek a balance between chemistry and compatibility. What that balance is will be entirely based on you and your partner.

Need a little help with your relationship? Well, for astrological insights, give Psychic Astrologer Kumari a call at 1-800-806-5899 (Kumari works through Should a tarot reading be more appealing to you, you really should give Psychic and Tarot Reader Stella a call at 1-866-407-7164. Stella is a rare gem who is a talented tarot reader as well as a gifted clairvoyant.