Using Conflict for Personal Development

People often contact psychic readers because a conflict has arisen and they are not sure how to deal with it. A psychic may be able to give you insights into how the conflict arose, and perhaps some information that enables you to begin the process of getting past the conflict. But in the end, it is up to the client, not the psychic, to work out a resolution to the conflict. The type of conflict really does not matter. Conflicts arise in ALL relationships – love relationships, business, family – what matters is how you learn to deal with conflicts. Learning to peacefully, yet effectively, deal with conflict, is about personal development. So, in this article, let us look at how you can use conflict for personal development. A psychic can give you support and insight, but you still need to work through the disharmony you are experiencing.

Conflict is an uncomfortable but normal part of the human experience. It is also normal for people to want to avoid conflict. Conflicts arise because, in all our differences and rich complexity, we don’t always agree. When disagreements contain a real or perceived threat to our well-being, our needs and wants, conflict is born. When we accept conflict is a normal aspect of life then we take a big step forward in dealing with conflict. relationship help To often people convince themselves that facing a conflict will only make things worse. In some rare circumstances there maybe wisdom in avoiding conflict for a period of time. However, in study after study, it has been found that avoiding disagreements and conflicts is not a healthy approach to life.

The very idea of conflict can bring up feelings of dread, fear, anger, and cause a person revisit old injuries and/or insults. Try and keep in mind that others are generally as intimidated by conflict as you are. This is why it is a good idea to proceed carefully, compassionately, when you find you are in conflict or disagreement with others. But, it is important to you, and them, to deal with the conflict and resolve it.

Instead of looking at conflict as a ‘bad thing’, it can help to look at conflict as an unavoidable opportunity for personal self improvement. Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the fact that once you and the other person are past the conflict there can be an even deeper friendship. It is just a fact that when people get pass a conflict that an opportunity for bonding is present. Below is an acronym that can help you evaluate and navigate conflicts when they arise. Use a conflict or disagreement to practice new skills and deepen our relationships.

C is for Communication

Communication is key to resolving any conflict. People in conflict with each other are usually invested in their own version of facts. Embroiled with emotion, it’s not hard to understand why. But the fact remains, conflicts often arise from wrong information, jumping to conclusions, and misunderstanding the other person’s intention. Communicating through conflict is an opportunity to remind ourselves that we are more alike than different.

What is usually lost in the communication, miscommunication or lack of communication is clarity about an important thing: What need or desire within you that is not being met? How is this other person blocking or denying you from fulfilling that need or desire? There you have it: The essence of conflict. If we didn’t need or want something from a person we would have no conflict with them. Once you can best understand those needs and wants and are willing to work with another on achieving those wants and needs, well, all kinds of cooperation can happen.

O is for Openness

Conflicts often arise from a narrow perception of the issue. Anger, hurt, confusion and fear all contribute to this limited view. Openness accepts other possibilities. In a "my way or the highway" approach to conflict, resolution is not possible. You may think there is only one way to achieve what you want and it is for this other person to just do as they are told. It seems easy, for you. But maybe not for them. Be open to other possibilities of HOW you can get what you need or want with this other person. Especially if this other person is someone you care about. Be open to their needs and desires as well as your own.

N is for New Information

When a person is open to possibilities, the result is new information. New information directly combats misinformation and when this occurs, the story begins to change and the conflict is diluted. When you are in conflict with someone and you suddenly discover they may have important considerations about why they cannot cooperate with you, you might find yourself suddenly compassion about their situation. With this compassion often comes new ideas about how to help each other. Call it magic. Call it love. Call it necessity. But with insights and information often comes new options and possibilities. Be open to other ways to get what you need or want.

F is for Fight or Flight

The fight or flight response is a psychological term that describes a physiological response to threat and extreme stress. As an instinctual drive for survival against imminent danger, the fight or flight response is often our first reaction to stress. For instance, it is not uncommon for people in conflict to react with aggression or violence (fight), or conversely, with avoidance and withdrawal (flight). The key is to put the conflict and its level of threat into perspective, and find a more balanced and mindful response.

Is this conflict truly a life or death situation? Not every conflict is an issue of winning. In fact, most are not. It is about getting your needs and wants dealt with. Resolving a conflict does not necessarily me you have to lose anything, and neither does the other party. Chances are you can both gain by taking a win-win approach and act like collaborators instead of competitors. Move from fight or flight to stop and relax – Communicate and seek new information. Be open to new possibilities.

L is for Letting Go

Resolving a current conflict should not be about anything more than the issue at hand. Many people, when faced with an obstacle or conflict in a relationship, begin to drag up all past hurts, slights and compromises. This is just creating a lot of fog and no clarity. Some people do this to ‘guilt’ another into resolving a current conflict by manipulating the other party. That is rare, but it happens. Usually what is going on is that a person goes into the ‘fight or flight’ mode and all the past hurts or conflicts that were not resolved come flooding back to mind. Do you want to really resolve the current, present conflict? Then, stay focused on the current issue and let go of the past.

Nobody can go back in time and fix what has happened. You can only deal with the present. Learning to let go of the past and deal with current conflict is a SKILL. Self improvement often involves learning a new technique and being able to let go of the past and stay present is a skill that will serve you well. Not only will it help you resolve current conflicts, but it will allow to deal with past hurts or compromises that didn’t work well for you to be fixed in the now. Deal with the current conflict, first. If you have unresolved issues, reflect on those issues and what you need to fix them. Then, work through old hurts as a sperate, important issue.

I is for Imagination

Imagining yourself in the shoes of another person is empathy. Empathy is that extraordinary ability to feel another’s pain and understand another’s point of view. It does not mean you have to agree or behave the same way, it simply means you can identify with their feelings and actions. Empathy takes the sting out of conflict and opens the doors to safe communication and effective reconciliation.

There is another important use of the imagination: Imagine the issue or conflict resolved. Sometimes the ‘how’ a conflict will be resolved is not as important as imagining the conflict resolved and how life will look moving forward. Using your imagination in this way can slow or even stop the ‘fight or flight’ response. It can allow your unconscious mind space to work out possible solutions. And, it can act as a calming influence on the other party or partner because they see that you are imagining a future with them, not without them.

C is for Compromise

As the saying goes "you have to give a little to get a little." Remember, conflicts involve opposition. If your idea of conflict resolution is that you get your way and the other side should just give in, then you are heading for a very lonely world of just you. Both parties need to find the areas where compromise is possible. Communication, openness, empathy, and mutual understanding are all key in the pursuit of compromise.

You might even discover that no compromise is necessary. As both parties explore their needs, wants, desires AND their resources to achieve those needs and desires, it is often surprising what possibilities can arise. The search for a compromise, if done by both parties honestly, can yield more to be gained than either had considered when the conflict arose. So, try giving compromise a try.

T is for Try Your Best

Conflicts hurt because they involve people or situations we care about. When you step outside this pain and meet every conflict with your best communication skills, you’ve taken the first step towards resolution. When communication and understanding is conveyed with an empathic, open, curious and flexible approach, then you’ll know that no matter what happens, you tried your best.

Psychic Arthur

Are There Issues or Relationships Holding You Back? Give Psychic Arthur a Call at 1-866-407-7164

Conflicts are not an easy or comfortable experience, but they are a normal part of human engagement. Conflict is an opportunity to develop some of the wonderful human qualities we all hold. A healthy approach to conflict rarely makes things worse, in fact, it can strengthen our relationships.

By using the tips above, or at least trying a few of them, you can find you fear of conflict can fade. In place of fear you may discover that the vast majority of conflicts do not have to be scary things, but opportunities for you to grow. Psychics can provide amazing insights, provide wonderful support, but it will always remain up to you do deal with your own conflicts. And, you can do that! We are all capable of dealing with the challenges that life presents – the challenges are given so we can grow.

If you would like to work with a psychic who is also skilled as a relationship coach, give Psychic Arthur a call at 1-866-407-7164. Arthur is a talent clairvoyant and a skilled life coach. Also, you might appreciate the insights of Psychic Sunshine, a third generation psychic who loves assisting others. You can call her at 1-800-951-1444 (toll free USA and Canada) – free 3 minute reading for first time callers.