When Marriage is a Bad Idea

One perennial question psychics, astrologers and tarot readers get is, "Should I marry him?" or "Should I marry her?". This question can come in many forms, for example, someone might ask if the person they are dating or a long time lover have a future together? Or, when will so-and-so pop the question of marriage.

Although a psychics and others of the divinational arts can give you ‘supernatural’ insights, it will ultimately be your choice whether you marry a particular person or not. The question of marriage is a serious one. It is a question, a decision, that will impact you the rest of your life. Understanding if the stars are aligned … or if you shared a past life together … or if the spirits see happiness ahead … all these forms of divination might be helpful to you. But, do NOT forget to examine the more practical, down-to-earth reasons you want to marry someone. It is those internal, personal reasons that carry enormous weight in how and why we choose to marry someone. Love is vital to the survival of a loving union, but are you sure love is your only motivation? marriage questions psychics And, sad as it may be to say, love that is one sided may not be enough to keep a relationship together, even in marriage.

It might be helpful to examine some bad reasons to get married. These are reasons based on faulty logic (and we all know love is blind as well as often illogical) and are known reasons why marriages can fail, or at the least, not lead to a long term loving relationship. The below bad reasons to marry are something psychics (not to mention many other professional relationship advisors) often uncover (and then find it difficult to deal with the emotional issues that ensure when giving an honest reading of the relationship).

Marriage can be wonderful and fulfilling. Even a marriage that starts off on shaky ground can stand the test of time if a couple has true love, commitment, a willingness to work hard on the relationship and share similar values. Sometimes, though, the reasons for a marriage are so skewed and the warning signs against it are so obvious, that the union is doomed from the start. If you are thinking of getting married based on one or more of the reasons below, then you may want to reconsider.

You Think You Can Heal or Save the Other Person

He or she had a rough childhood or has been hurt deeply by a love interest in the past. You just know that if you show your lover what unconditional love looks like, you can break through that wall of anger, pain and mistrust. You believe it is you who can show them a better path. Yes, it is admirable you want to ‘adopt’ this person and be part of their healing process. However, there is one important fact: Only they can change who they are. And, they may choose not to.

As much as a partner may want to acknowledge the pain in their past, work through it, (sometimes with therapy) and become a better person, they may not be willing or able to do so for years. If you walk into the marriage thinking you are single-handedly going to be the Florence Nightingale or White Knight that will save this person despite themselves, you may be heading for a marriage with years of anger, confusion and eventually bitterness. It will not matter how well-intentioned you are or how good your plan may be, there is a real chance you will fail. Worse, you may think this failure is your fault.

Often a husband or wife who feels that you married them as a "project" may be offended because you did not marry them for who they are. It can be worse if this person feels that if they stop being "broken", then you will stop loving them. Of course, if someone you love has serious issues ,then, absolutely be there to support and encourage him or her. Your love and presence can be an incredible catalyst for change. But, ultimately, whether a person decides to change or not must come from within them, and that is not up to you. Marrying someone to change them more often than not doesn’t work. And, you have to ask yourself why you would want to marry someone who has issues just so you can be there ‘savior’. This seems harsh to consider, but it is better to examine these questions now than when you are married with children.

You Think You Can Change The Other Person Into Your Perfect Mate

This is similar to ‘you think you can heal or save them’, only you are dealing with another persons traits, habits and values.
You like to keep thinks neat but your partner is a slob. You take your finances seriously but your partner spends money and spends money and then wants to spend your money. You believe in a committed relationship but you keep catching your partner flirting and saying it’s no big deal they go out with friends of the opposite sex.

There is something to the fact opposites attract. Partners who appear to be very different can often forge a beautiful and balanced relationship. There is no doubt differences can be worked out if you are BOTH willing to work at the relationship. This is something that should be in place before considering marriage because once you are married you can be assured that those things you thought you could ‘fix’ about your lover may not prove to be fixable. The prospect of spending the rest of your life with someone who (intentionally or unintentionally) ruins your peace of mind will make you feel differently about someone you thought was a ‘fixer upper’.

Often people think that if they are just patient and continue to gently – or not so gently – to show a man or woman the error of their ways that eventually they come around and become the more mature, or stable, or thoughtful, person you want them to be. Here is the problem: Maybe a person is the way they are for a reason and do not see a reason to change. Maybe they grew up having everything they want when they want it and do not see a problem with that expectation. Maybe their idea of settling down involve just more of the same in a house of their own. Even if you truly feel that his/her behavior is wrong, marrying them and then trying to change them is going to come off as you thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with them and you are the better person who is there to fix them. Resentment and bitterness will likely follow this approach. If you’re not compatible just as you both are, if you have not evolved in your relationship to where you can deal with differences in a loving manner, getting married isn’t going to fix them or you or the relationship.

You Are Feeling Pressured To Get Married

Whether it’s your mom asking every month when you’re going to get married and give her grandchildren, your own biological clock ticking as loud as a gong, or the fact that you have a child together, pressure is never a good reason to get married. You do not rush to make a lifelong decision that will forever affect both of you and any children you may have. Marrying just to please someone else can put a marriage in trouble almost instantly. If you and your spouse are incompatible this will only lead to unhappiness for both of you. The fact that you want children or already have children together should not be the only reason you tie the knot. There has to be genuine love and respect between the two of you. There must be a working relationship in place. Otherwise you will likely resent one another because one or the other pushed to get married despite the warning signs it would not work. The relationship will fall apart incredibly quickly.

If children are or become involved, they will pay a terrible price growing up in a dysfunctional home where anger and arguments and resentment are the norm. The children may even grow up thinking marriage isn’t about happiness but something one must suffer through. You owe it to yourself, your future spouse, and any children you have or may have in the future, to be happy and fulfilled – not pressured – in marriage.

You Know, But Choose To Ignore, The Warning Signs Of A Negative Relationship

Is your significant other is lying to you? Cheating on you? Abusing drugs or alcohol? Emotionally humiliating you? Are they putting on one face for friends and family, then seeming to become someone else when alone with you? Or, worst of all, is he/she physically abusive toward you? You should not be thinking of marriage. You should be running the other way. The fact you are considering marrying such an individual should cause you to seriously examine your own motivations and needs and what you really want from your life.

Standing underneath a wedding arch and reciting those vows will not magically change another person’s abusive tendencies. He or she may apologize and seem sincere, but facts and statistic don’t lie. Abusive behavior will most likely continue and once you are both behind closed doors it can actually get worse. Bring children into the equation and then there are more victims. Marriage is suppose to be about love and mutual respect. Anyone who acts in an abusive manner towards you does not respect you. Their abusive words and actions toward you are definitely not loving. They may say they love you, but they may not know how to really express or experience love. Save your heart, your emotional well-being and maybe even your life by running, not walking, away from an abusive relationship.

Psychics may ‘see’ into the relationships of clients. More than that, a quality psychic can often see into the client’s heart and character. They may sometimes even ask questions to confirm these insights so as better to advise the client. It is not uncommon for a psychic, tarot reader and/or an astrologer to see that the reasons someone wants or is considering marrying another are not as spiritually founded as they could be. Love is often confusing … for everyone. When dark or negative reasons for marriage appear it creates a very delicate situation for the psychic to convey their honest insights to the client. Even so, quality psychics know their responsibility is to you, their client, to provide you with their best insights.

Whether you decide to marry or not is absolutely YOUR choice. It is never something a psychic or anyone else can decide for you. It doesn’t take a psychic to know there are some reasons for marriage that can doom a marriage from the beginning. A few of the most common of those reasons are listed above.

Psychic Kay

If you’d like to work with a psychic who of love and marriage, give Psychic Kay a call at: 1-866-407-7164 – Toll Free USA and Canada

On the bright side (which is what all good psychics want to help you find), if you can see that you may be fooling yourself about the future with a particular romantic partner, then it opens the door to finding someone who will truly love you … and whom you will fully love. But the work to get to that relationship is going to be up to you … and that means you becoming a better person.

If your desire to get married is based on the love you share with another; based on values you both hold; and your desire to create a healthy family and grow old together; then you’re off to a great start and can have a solid and wonderful future. Anything less does not honor either person nor the sanctity of marriage itself. A psychic can help you with that, but all the hard work and choices are ultimately up to you.

Should you want to talk with a psychic about a relationship you are current in and would like some insights, give Psychic Kay a call at 1-866-407-7164, or if you prefer to chat online, visit Psychic Love Chat. You’ll find both these sites very helpful with love and marriage questions.